Why Networking Feels So Awkward—and How to Change That
For many professionals, the idea of networking stirs up feelings of discomfort, self-doubt, or even mild dread. You picture awkward small talk, stiff handshakes, and forced smiles—and suddenly, the idea of staying in your comfort zone seems a lot more appealing.
But what if networking didn’t have to be that way?
What if you could build meaningful professional relationships without being awkward, without pretending to be someone you’re not, and without fearing rejection?
This article is designed to reframe your approach to networking entirely. Instead of focusing on “working the room” or delivering a perfect elevator pitch, we’ll show you how to connect with others naturally and confidently—whether you’re an introvert, a job seeker, a freelancer, or just someone who wants to grow professionally without feeling fake.
The Real Reason Networking Feels So Uncomfortable
Most of us approach networking with the wrong mindset:
❌ We think we have to impress others.
❌ We worry about saying the “right” thing.
❌ We treat it like a task instead of a conversation.
This transactional view is what makes networking feel stiff and inauthentic. But once you start seeing networking as a relationship-building skill—rather than a performance—the pressure fades.
You Don’t Need to Be Extroverted to Be Great at Networking
It’s a common myth that effective networkers are always charismatic, outgoing, or naturally social. The truth?
✔️ Some of the strongest professional relationships come from quiet, thoughtful conversations.
✔️ Many introverts are excellent listeners, which makes them incredibly effective connectors.
✔️ You don’t need to be the loudest person in the room—you just need to be genuine, curious, and present.
Whether you’re at a conference, on LinkedIn, or meeting someone for coffee, real connections are built through sincerity, not spectacle.
From Awkward to Effortless: What You’ll Learn in This Guide
This article will equip you with practical strategies and mindset shifts to help you:
✔️ Network without being awkward—even if you’re nervous or introverted
✔️ Start conversations that feel natural, not rehearsed
✔️ Build trust and rapport without pushing for outcomes
✔️ Use professional networking strategies that feel right for your personality
✔️ Turn small talk into real opportunity
Whether you’re just beginning your career or looking to deepen your existing network, these tips will help you feel confident and authentic every step of the way.
Let’s get started by flipping your mindset—and leaving awkwardness behind for good.
Mindset Shift: From Transactional to Relational
Networking feels awkward when it’s approached as a transaction—when you enter a conversation expecting immediate benefits, like a job referral or a business deal. This creates pressure on both sides and makes interactions feel insincere.
The key to natural and effective networking is to focus on building relationships first. The best connections are built on trust, authenticity, and mutual value, not on quick gains.
Genuine Interest Over Superficial Gain
The most successful networkers have one thing in common: they focus on giving, not just getting. Instead of thinking, “What can I gain from this person?” ask yourself, “How can I add value to this conversation?”
✔️ Be genuinely curious about the person you’re talking to—ask thoughtful questions and listen actively.
✔️ Share useful insights, ideas, or resources without expecting anything in return.
✔️ Show appreciation for their work, achievements, or contributions.
When people feel that you’re genuinely interested in them, rather than just seeking a favor, they’re more likely to engage, remember you, and be willing to help in the future.
The Power of Giving Before Asking
A golden rule in networking is “Give first, ask later.” Many people make the mistake of immediately asking for a job lead, an introduction, or career advice before establishing any rapport.
Instead, focus on offering value first:
✅ Share a relevant article or resource based on their interests.
✅ Offer insights from your own experience that might help them.
✅ Introduce them to someone in your network who can benefit them.
When you start by giving, you create a positive impression and open the door for a more mutual connection.
How to Build Confidence in Networking
If networking makes you anxious, you’re not alone. Many professionals, including introverts, struggle with fear of rejection, self-doubt, or discomfort in social settings. Here’s how to overcome it:
✔️ Reframe rejection – Not every interaction will turn into a meaningful connection, and that’s okay. Instead of fearing rejection, see networking as a skill you refine over time.
✔️ Prepare conversation starters – Having a few go-to questions can help ease awkward silences. (Example: “What inspired you to enter this field?”)
✔️ Practice in low-stakes settings – Start with people you feel comfortable with before approaching strangers at networking events.
✔️ Use body language effectively – A warm smile, eye contact, and open posture make you appear approachable and confident.
With the right mindset, networking shifts from being a stressful obligation to a natural and rewarding experience.
Strategies for Natural and Authentic Networking
Many people believe that networking requires a bold, extroverted personality or a sales-like approach. However, the most successful networkers aren’t the ones who dominate conversations—they’re the ones who make others feel comfortable, heard, and valued.
Here, we’ll break down practical strategies to help you connect with people authentically and effortlessly, whether in person or online.
The Art of Small Talk Without Feeling Forced
Small talk is often dreaded because it feels shallow or meaningless. But in reality, small talk is just a bridge—it opens the door to deeper, more valuable conversations. The key is to make it engaging and natural.
How to Start Conversations Without Awkwardness
One of the easiest ways to initiate a conversation is by asking open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share more than a simple “yes” or “no” answer.
✔️ Instead of: “Are you enjoying the event?” (Likely response: “Yes, it’s great.”)
✔️ Try: “What brought you to this event?” (Encourages a story or personal insight.)
Here are go-to conversation starters that work in various settings:
✅ At a networking event: “How did you first get into your industry?”
✅ At a conference: “What’s been the most interesting talk you’ve attended today?”
✅ On LinkedIn: “I really liked your recent post on [topic]. What inspired you to write it?”
✅ With a mutual connection: “I heard from [mutual contact] that you’re working on [project]. I’d love to hear more!”
The key is to spark curiosity and make the other person feel comfortable sharing.
Active Listening and Asking the Right Questions
Many people struggle with networking because they focus too much on what to say next rather than actually listening.
The best networkers are great listeners. When you truly listen, you make people feel valued—and that leaves a lasting impression.
How to Become a Better Listener in Conversations
✔️ Use the “Echo Technique” – Repeat part of what the other person just said to show interest. (Example: “You mentioned you’re launching a startup—what’s been the biggest challenge so far?”)
✔️ Pause before responding – This prevents you from rushing to talk and ensures the other person has fully expressed their thoughts.
✔️ Avoid interrupting – Let people finish their sentences completely before jumping in.
✔️ Use body language – Nodding, smiling, and maintaining eye contact show you’re engaged.
Asking the right questions can also help keep conversations flowing naturally. Some great follow-ups include:
✅ “That’s really interesting—what got you into that field?”
✅ “I’d love to learn more about your experience with [specific topic]. How did you approach it?”
✅ “What’s one challenge you’ve overcome that shaped your career?”
When you actively listen and ask thoughtful questions, you’ll find that networking starts to feel less like a chore and more like a natural exchange of ideas.
How to Find Common Ground Effortlessly
The fastest way to make a conversation feel organic is to find something in common—a shared experience, interest, or mutual connection.
Ways to Find Common Ground in Conversations
✔️ Look for industry or professional overlaps – “I saw you’ve worked with [company]. I had a similar experience when I worked at [another company].”
✔️ Relate to personal interests – “I noticed you’re into hiking—I recently tried a new trail last weekend!”
✔️ Use location as a conversation starter – “You’re based in [city]? I visited last year! What’s your favorite spot there?”
✔️ Leverage mutual connections – “I believe we both know [mutual contact]. How do you two know each other?”
Finding genuine connections helps remove the awkwardness and turns networking into a more enjoyable experience.
Online and Offline Networking
Networking isn’t limited to in-person events—digital connections can be just as valuable as face-to-face interactions. In today’s world, professionals build relationships through LinkedIn, industry forums, virtual events, and social media, making online networking a key skill.
At the same time, knowing how to navigate in-person events, conferences, and casual meetups can significantly expand your network.
In this section, we’ll explore strategies for both online and offline networking, so you can confidently build meaningful connections in any setting.
Leveraging LinkedIn Without Sounding Salesy
Many people hesitate to network on LinkedIn because they don’t want to come across as pushy or self-promotional. The good news? LinkedIn networking isn’t about cold messaging strangers—it’s about engaging with people in a way that adds value.
How to Make Meaningful Connections on LinkedIn
✔️ Engage before reaching out – Comment on their posts, share their content, or react to updates before sending a message. This makes your outreach feel more natural.
✔️ Personalize your connection requests – Avoid generic messages like “Let’s connect.” Instead, mention a shared interest, a mutual connection, or why you admire their work.
✔️ Be concise and genuine – A great message could be:
“Hi [Name], I came across your article on [topic] and found your perspective really insightful. I’d love to connect and learn more about your work in [industry].”
✔️ Provide value in conversations – Instead of asking for favors right away, offer insights, share a helpful resource, or introduce them to someone who might be beneficial to their career.
✔️ Stay engaged after connecting – Like, comment, and share their posts occasionally. This keeps you on their radar without seeming intrusive.
Building a strong LinkedIn network isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality interactions that create long-term professional relationships.
Effective Networking at Events and Conferences
Attending networking events, industry conferences, and business meetups can be incredibly beneficial, but many people struggle with approaching strangers and starting conversations. Here’s how to make the most of in-person networking without feeling awkward.
How to Approach and Connect with People Naturally
✔️ Come prepared with a few conversation starters – Having an opening question like “What brought you to this event?” helps ease into discussions.
✔️ Use the “Lone Wolf” strategy – If you see someone standing alone, they’re likely feeling just as awkward as you. Approaching them can be easier than trying to break into a group conversation.
✔️ Join group discussions naturally – Listen for a few seconds, then contribute with a relevant comment like “That’s a great point! I had a similar experience when…”
✔️ Introduce others – If you meet someone who would benefit from knowing another attendee, introduce them. This positions you as a connector and makes you more memorable.
✔️ Be mindful of time – If a conversation is slowing down, wrap it up politely: “It’s been great talking to you! I’d love to stay in touch—can I connect with you on LinkedIn?”
Following Up Without Being Pushy
Networking doesn’t end when the event is over—following up is what turns a one-time interaction into a meaningful connection.
How to Follow Up in a Way That Feels Natural
✅ Send a follow-up message within 24–48 hours – This keeps the conversation fresh in their mind.
✅ Reference something from your conversation – “It was great discussing [topic] with you! I really enjoyed your insights on [specific detail].”
✅ Offer something valuable – “I found an article on [topic] that reminded me of our chat—thought you might find it useful!”
✅ Keep it short and friendly – A follow-up message shouldn’t feel like a sales pitch.
Example:
👉 LinkedIn Follow-Up:
“Hi [Name], I really enjoyed meeting you at [event]. Our discussion on [topic] was insightful! Let’s stay connected—would love to hear more about your work in [industry].”
👉 Email Follow-Up:
Subject: Great Connecting at [Event]!
Hi [Name],
It was great meeting you at [event] and chatting about [topic]. I really appreciated your perspective on [specific point]. Let’s stay in touch—if you’re ever interested in collaborating or exchanging ideas, I’d love to connect.
Best,
[Your Name]
A good follow-up reminds them of who you are, reinforces the relationship, and keeps the door open for future interactions—without coming across as overly persistent.
Navigating Different Personality Types in Networking
One of the biggest mistakes in networking is assuming that everyone interacts the same way. Some people thrive in large social settings, while others prefer one-on-one conversations. Some like deep, intellectual discussions, while others enjoy lighthearted small talk.
To network effectively, it’s important to understand different personality types and adapt your approach accordingly. This will help you connect with people in a way that feels comfortable for both of you.
Introverts vs. Extroverts: Different Approaches
Networking strategies vary based on whether you’re dealing with an introvert or an extrovert. Understanding the differences can make interactions smoother.
How to Network with Introverts
Introverts often prefer meaningful, one-on-one conversations over large group interactions. They may not initiate conversations, but they enjoy deep discussions when given the chance.
✔️ Approach them in quieter settings – If you see someone standing alone at an event, they might appreciate a direct, low-pressure conversation.
✔️ Skip the small talk when possible – Many introverts dislike surface-level conversation. Ask thoughtful questions to engage them.
✔️ Give them time to respond – Introverts often think before they speak. If they pause, don’t rush to fill the silence—let them gather their thoughts.
✔️ Follow up digitally – Many introverts prefer email or LinkedIn messages over spontaneous calls.
Example Conversation Starter:
“I noticed you’re working on [project]. I’d love to hear what inspired you to start that!”
How to Network with Extroverts
Extroverts thrive on social interaction and tend to be more open and expressive in conversations. They enjoy group settings, fast-paced discussions, and spontaneity.
✔️ Match their energy (to a degree) – You don’t need to be as outgoing as them, but showing enthusiasm will help keep the conversation engaging.
✔️ Let them talk – Extroverts enjoy storytelling. Ask open-ended questions and let them share their experiences.
✔️ Be concise – If you take too long to get to the point, they may lose interest. Keep responses clear and engaging.
✔️ Use humor and casual conversation – Extroverts often enjoy a mix of professional and personal discussions.
Example Conversation Starter:
“I love your energy! How do you stay so passionate about [topic]?”
Adapting to Different Communication Styles
Beyond introverts and extroverts, people also have different communication styles. Adapting your networking approach to match their preferences can make conversations flow more naturally.
The 4 Common Communication Styles in Networking
Communication Style | How They Interact | Best Networking Approach |
|---|---|---|
The Analytical Thinker | Logical, data-driven, prefers facts | Provide clear, detailed information and avoid small talk |
The Expressive Storyteller | Passionate, energetic, loves sharing experiences | Engage in conversation, ask about their projects, and show enthusiasm |
The Relationship Builder | Warm, values trust, focuses on emotions | Focus on personal connections, ask about their interests outside of work |
The Direct Communicator | Efficient, to-the-point, goal-oriented | Keep interactions brief and purposeful, avoid unnecessary details |
When you adjust your approach to fit someone’s communication style, networking becomes smoother and more effective.
Dealing with Difficult or Unresponsive Contacts
Not everyone you network with will be eager to engage. Some people may be uninterested, unresponsive, or even dismissive. Instead of taking it personally, use these strategies:
✔️ Read their body language – If they seem distracted or give short responses, politely wrap up the conversation.
✔️ Don’t force it – If someone isn’t engaging, move on and connect with others who are more receptive.
✔️ Follow up once, then let it go – If they don’t respond to your first message, don’t keep pushing. Some people just aren’t open to networking at the moment.
✔️ Keep the door open for the future – A polite exit leaves room for a future connection. (Example: “I won’t take up too much of your time, but it was great meeting you. Let’s stay in touch!”)
Networking is about quality, not quantity. Instead of chasing people who aren’t interested, focus on those who are genuinely open to building a connection.
References and Inspirational Resources
- Ferrazzi, Keith. Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time. Currency.
- Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Simon & Schuster.
- Cain, Susan. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Crown Publishing Group.
- Psychology Today – Articles on networking anxiety, social interaction, and relationship-building strategies.
- Harvard Business Review – Insights on professional networking and leadership communication.
- Forbes – Guides and expert opinions on authentic networking and personal branding.
- LinkedIn Blog – Resources on effective networking practices, online communication, and career development.
